CAT 1
0-40
Totally Fine
Quiet skies. Nobody is calling into radio with a manifesto yet.
ESPN written by the fans. Scored like a weather forecast.
Daily Chaos Scores For College Sports Fanbases.
Every morning, Fanbase Weather tells you who is panicking, who is coping, and who is genuinely cooked. Real news, real public fan reactions, one extremely useful number.
Today's Highest Reading
Michigan
ABSOLUTELY COOKEDLive example from the radar
Step 1
News Hits The Radar
Coaching drama, bad losses, portal chaos, NIL weirdness, and anything else making a fanbase twitch.
Step 2
Fans Supply The Weather
Real public reactions turn the forecast from plain news into a measurable emotional event.
Step 3
The Chaos Score Lands
Panic, copium, rival pressure, and doom combine into one number your rival will absolutely send you.
The Forecast Scale
Seven Stages Of Being Cooked.
The score runs 1-100, but the site translates it into weather stages so you know exactly how much trouble a fanbase is in.
CAT 2
41-52
Vibes Are Off
Fans are refreshing message boards and pretending this is normal.
CAT 3
53-63
Fans Unwell
The group chat is hot. The explanations are getting athletic.
CAT 4
64-73
Drain Circling
Every rival has entered the chat. Nobody is being generous.
CAT 5
74-82
Cooked
Coaching search graphics are being made by people with day jobs.
CAT 5+
83-91
Send Prayers
Nobody is sleeping. Everyone has a source. None of them agree.
CAT 5++
92-100
God Help Them
Full organizational weather event. Seek shelter from your mentions.
The Melt Scale
The Logo Gets Worse Because The Situation Does.
Every covered team has parody logo stages. Low chaos looks uncomfortable. High chaos looks like the athletic department left it in the microwave.
Live sample: Michigan
Stage 01
Mild
Vibes off
Stage 02
Medium
Fans sweating
Stage 03
Melted
Officially cooked
Metric Glossary
The Four Things We Measure.
Chaos Score is the headline. These are the ingredients that make the forecast spicy enough to send to your rival.
Panic Temp
Fire him energy
Copium Levels
Rationalization pressure
Rival Pressure
Hater participation
Doom Index
Long-term dread
Coverage Radar
Don't See Your Team?
File a weather report. We are adding more fanbases, and repeated requests help decide who gets dragged onto the map next.
Contact The Lab
Corrections, partnerships, media, or emotional damages can go straight to the inbox.
fanbaseweather@gmail.comDaily Meltdown Email
Every morning. The fanbases having the worst day, why they are cooked, and the receipts before your group chat wakes up.
Who's Currently Cooked?
See the live rankings of the most miserable fanbases in sports right now.
See The RankingsIndependent fan satire site. Not affiliated with any university, athletic program, conference, or the NCAA. All content is commentary and parody.